Boundaries
As an adult, I have been working on my boundaries. I’ve worked on saying “no” if I wasn’t 100% sure I wanted to do something.
I have always come from a “yes” place but it didn’t feed my soul, it didn’t feel good inside, it didn’t feel right.
How is it fair to the other person asking if I said “yes” when I didn’t really mean it?
Answer: it’s not okay
Have you said “yes” to something you dreaded the whole time since committing to it? NOW, let me be clear, being scared to do something you want to do because it’s out of your comfort zone but it is good for you and dreading it are two VERY different things! Being scared to do something is totally cool but dreading isn’t, because it is not helping you on your path to be a happy human.
WARNING:
Now, you might not get a warm embrace for saying “no” to things or to people
You might lose “friends” for this (but are they really your friend if that’s the case? No!)
Feelings might get hurt, BUT better to be honest with yourself and others about how you feel
You will enjoy the times you do say “yes” MUCH more often
You will be embracing yourself and YOUR wants and needs
Listening to a podcast yesterday, it talked about compassion.
In this podcast called “Under my Skin,” Brene Brown talked about interviewing the most compassionate people she could find, like monks, etc., and you know what they had in common?! Boundaries.
Crazy, right? It wasn’t the amount of time they dedicated to any cause, doing everything everyone wanted them to do, saving the world… but actually by protecting themselves to help keep themselves happy.
Boundaries can actually help feed your soul.
Bold statement, yes, it is, but think about it. When you are draining yourself with things that don’t feed your energy and that you don’t really want to do… it’s draining you.
Our boundaries help us live better lives, feel better within and feel better about other people. When creating boundaries, you can control your happiness by setting your preferences. There is no reason to be washed over with crippling emotions, frustrations or regret. Why?
BECAUSE YOU SET THE TONE, YOU SET THE BOUNDARIES, YOU SAID WHAT YOU WOULD OR WOULDN’T DO!
I like to think of myself as a compassionate person and I used to think that meant I should say “yes” to things I wasn’t totally sold on. Sometimes, that has gotten me into odd situations I really didn’t enjoy, or having others take that false sense of compassion the wrong way.
I’ve now learned to overcome that B.S. by protecting myself and my boundaries. It is to everyone’s benefit if I can still be myself for everyone that is around me. Does that serve everyone? No, because it isn’t supposed to. It is supposed to support me to be my best self.
So start taking control of your boundaries.
What do you want?
What do you like saying “yes” to?
What do you feel want to say“no” to?
WELL, DO IT!